Ship Wreck Survivor

I Am a Ship Wreck… (child molestation, abuse, neglect, cancer, rape, domestic violence, suicide attempt, depression, robbery, assault, incarceration, bondage) Survivor.

As a “Ship Wreck Survivor” my glass is always half full and on many occasions overflowing I have been through too much and survived too much to sink, capsize.

You.. survived any/all of the above congratulations. Celebrate you!!!

Going through what appears unmanageable storm, be encouraged. If you made it through that surely you can make it through this(whatever your this is)

 

 

 

Searching for you in the daytime with a flashlight……

Me lonely?? Yes, not desperate but wanting companionship, affection, warm and fuzzy feeling on the inside. I like to believe I am an extrovert as I must get out, must be out, want out. Feel really stifled and panicked when I am shut in. So many options for dating, meeting the one, making connections.

Why are you lonely? Glad you asked,lol. I enjoy being social, friendly and am very adaptable so there should be no issue. I have joined many, social, dating sites. Very happy with the response received from my profiles. What I apparently lack is the alarm, warning bell, insight that screams stalker.

Interested in a few examples? Sure you are, lol.

1. You: said you hate clingy women, need to have a life, independent. Accepting you are very busy with work, etc. and happy with occasional dinner, movie, etc.  Me: Great, I am busy also, not a lot of time for traditional dating. You: Great, perfect. Okay now you are calling me frequently throughout the day, evening. Making me aware of your every move, task, etc. Why are you now angry, and becoming hostile when I suggest you do not call/text so much and do not respond to every text/call? Why are you still calling and harassing me when I suggest we stop communicating.

2. You: enjoyed the company, looking forward to future dates. Much in common. Me: Wonderful, great debater, chivalrous which I find rare. Impressed you drove 40 miles out of your way to meet near me.  Issue, why do you just pop up unannounced. Perhaps we should slow down and take time out and away from each other. You: No woman can be trusted, one night you didn’t return my call because you were asleep, I know that wasn’t true. The hood of your car was warm. Me: You live 40 miles away and traveled to my home to check the temperature on the hood of my car? No more, it’s over.

3. You: I will let you out from the locked closet in my shop, when you agree to accept my proposal of marriage. Me: Just to escape. Accepted the ring and proposal. Moved, changed phone numbers, etc. You: waiting around my favorite shops, eateries, Salons, etc.

These few experiences and many more to share down the road, have caused much concern for going out and attempting the dating thing. For now, I delight in hanging out with my dogs.

Many, many more….searching for you in the daytime with a flashlight otherwise known as stalking. Male or female is this you? You will never be happy, truly happy stalking another. If you feel this behavior is necessary that person is not for you. They are not the one

It’s a wrap…

Okay I am going public, a small few are aware but many have not known. As I have been keeping this relationship a secret for far too long. Fully aware it was not, nor would ever be good for me. No real chance of improving. Never gave always taking, wanting more and more. Very abusive, inflicting much physical and emotional pain. But I must admit I have to take responsibility and own my part. You see I thought if I got angry enough, shout enough, cry enough it would possibly initiate moving on and going away. Did much of that, ignoring wisdom and solutions by others in like circumstances. Continue reading It’s a wrap…