Tag: fear
Celebration the boring life…..me and my ride or die dog
When I look back on my life, I see much pain, mistakes, poor choices and heartbreak. However, when I look in the mirror, I see not a victim but one victorious, I see perseverance, I see wisdom, I see strength, I see love, I see a winner, I see an over-comer, I see a warrior. One who not just overcame obstacles but by the grace and mercy of God is overcoming all obstacles in her path and always keeps a smile on her face making like it never happened. So thankful to quote my spiritual mom’s Dr. Rachelle Benson most noted cliche “God will make it as though it never happened”.
This is what child molestation, child abuse, neglect, betrayal, domestic violence, cast out, cancer, rape, incarceration, homelessness, brutality, and hatred survivor, warrior ,unbroken looks like.
I liken my life to the child toy weeble wobbles, they”weeble and wobble but don’t fall down” I have been knocked around and about but not out. Bruised and scarred but undefeated. Celebrating all survivors, and encouraging all weary that defeat is not an option, do not lose hope I am certain what God has and still is doing for me He can, is and will do for you!!!
Smiling faces sometimes tell lies…….
Although this written piece says “she” there is no gender bias with regard to pains….
Searching for you in the daytime with a flashlight……
Me lonely?? Yes, not desperate but wanting companionship, affection, warm and fuzzy feeling on the inside. I like to believe I am an extrovert as I must get out, must be out, want out. Feel really stifled and panicked when I am shut in. So many options for dating, meeting the one, making connections.
Why are you lonely? Glad you asked,lol. I enjoy being social, friendly and am very adaptable so there should be no issue. I have joined many, social, dating sites. Very happy with the response received from my profiles. What I apparently lack is the alarm, warning bell, insight that screams stalker.
Interested in a few examples? Sure you are, lol.
1. You: said you hate clingy women, need to have a life, independent. Accepting you are very busy with work, etc. and happy with occasional dinner, movie, etc. Me: Great, I am busy also, not a lot of time for traditional dating. You: Great, perfect. Okay now you are calling me frequently throughout the day, evening. Making me aware of your every move, task, etc. Why are you now angry, and becoming hostile when I suggest you do not call/text so much and do not respond to every text/call? Why are you still calling and harassing me when I suggest we stop communicating.
2. You: enjoyed the company, looking forward to future dates. Much in common. Me: Wonderful, great debater, chivalrous which I find rare. Impressed you drove 40 miles out of your way to meet near me. Issue, why do you just pop up unannounced. Perhaps we should slow down and take time out and away from each other. You: No woman can be trusted, one night you didn’t return my call because you were asleep, I know that wasn’t true. The hood of your car was warm. Me: You live 40 miles away and traveled to my home to check the temperature on the hood of my car? No more, it’s over.
3. You: I will let you out from the locked closet in my shop, when you agree to accept my proposal of marriage. Me: Just to escape. Accepted the ring and proposal. Moved, changed phone numbers, etc. You: waiting around my favorite shops, eateries, Salons, etc.
These few experiences and many more to share down the road, have caused much concern for going out and attempting the dating thing. For now, I delight in hanging out with my dogs.
Many, many more….searching for you in the daytime with a flashlight otherwise known as stalking. Male or female is this you? You will never be happy, truly happy stalking another. If you feel this behavior is necessary that person is not for you. They are not the one
I See You Sunshine 
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